I am grateful. Sometimes, it is difficult to be grateful. Sometimes, it is difficult to pull myself out of the pit of despair. Sometimes, it is hard to see anything for which to be grateful. In the happy times, the good times, I am dumbfounded at how I could possibly NOT see anything and everything as a blessing…but in the sadness, the depression, I have a difficult time with gratefulness. I relate to David in his “woe is me” psalms. I sit at the piano and play sadness and wait for God to wrap His arms around my shoulders and sit with me on the bench.
And He does. He walks with me and He talks with means He tells me I am His own. And the time we share as we linger there, no other can ever know. Yes, I paraphrased.
I am grateful. I am grateful that when I sit on the bench, He is there to hear my pain through my music. He is there to let me weep. He is there to remind me to be grateful. Be grateful for every little thing, because it’s in the little things that make way for the blessings to rain down. It’s in the little things that make way for an open heart to receive joy and not close itself off inside a bitter world.
So, I am grateful for a red headed woodpecker in the tree in the back yard.
I am grateful for enough plastic containers to hold cookies and candies that were left uneaten.
I am grateful for Kleenex.
I am grateful for a few moments of laughter around the table with family.
I am grateful for my sister and family who shared part of their Christmas in this “woe is me” season.
I am grateful for a new tradition of Christmas Eve – no longer an evening to be at home opening gifts and watching Christmas movies – now an evening spent at church, in worship, in serving.
I am grateful for a little red bird that sits at the kitchen sink to remind me. Thank you, Delores…
I am grateful for my husband who tells me many times a day that he loves me, and he shows me, by hugging me, by reaching for my hand to hold, by doing the dishes, by telling me to play the piano so that he can listen, by the shopping he did to surprise me with new clothes and a new set of pans, by turning on the Christmas tree lights and playing Christmas music on the stereo and having a fire going in the fireplace first thing in the morning, by caring that the windows are washed and sparkling for Christmas day, by wanting to have something under the tree for everyone, by his knowing look when he senses my sadness…
I am grateful for time in the morning on a day off of work before father-in-law awakes, to sit in silence and read and reflect.
I am grateful for employers and co-workers who send happy “Merry Christmas” text messages.
I am grateful for a Christmas phone call from a daughter and a brother.
I am grateful that I’m not always like this.
And I am grateful for the reminder of something my Mom used to say quite often…
This too, shall pass.