It’s a conundrum.

I love clean. I love the smell of clean. I love those who clean. I even have moments of loving the act of cleaning.

But what I really really really don’t love is cleaning a shower.

I would clean dirty toilets all the day long. Just please don’t ask me to clean showers all the day long.

First of all, a shower is a monstrosity. It’s not a sink.  And, you can’t exactly spray and wipe, because it mostly requires water.

Picture Rhonda scrubbing the walls of the shower to her cleaning heart’s content.

Picture Rhonda having to do this with bare feet because the monstrosity is too monstrous to lean inside – Rhonda has to get inside to scrub, and you can’t clean a shower and leave the floor of the shower un-cleaned, but if she gets in the shower with shoes on, or as Rhonda likes to be while she cleans, in her socks, she will track cleaner and gook all over the house, so bare feet is her only option.

Picture Rhonda cleaning this in-dire-need-of-cleaning monstrosity while breathing in her precious clean fumes that she so loves, filling her lungs with poisonous particles that make her cough uncontrollably.

Picture Rhonda standing in scrubbed, sudded, it’s-now-beginning-to-cake-on shower, trying to figure out a way to rinse the scrubbed walls and doors without getting…wet. Huh uh. Not on this planet.

Picture Rhonda looking like a drowned rat and less-than-happy.

I am grateful that I am not a professional shower cleaner.  Or maybe I shouldn’t be grateful for that. Maybe my life would be much easier if I WERE a professional shower cleaner, because then I might be skilled at it and wouldn’t dread it so much and the showers at home would sparkle and shine a little more often.

I am grateful for sparkly, shiny showers after the drowned rat cleanings.

I am not so grateful for those who then use the shower and cause them to need to be cleaned once again.

But I am grateful for clean people in my house, people who smell Irish Spring sensational, or Coast-y clean, or Bath & Body Works wonderful, or Dove delightful.

It was a TREAT when Mom would buy this. But did it REALLY work? I would like Mr. Bubble for showers, please.

I am grateful for the person who is going to invent a disposable shower – one time use and then with the push of a little button, it washes down the drain only to reveal a brand new shower all ready for the the next person. Or the person who is going to invent a microwave shower cleaner experience. Push the little fancy keypad and it microwaves the soap scum/dirt/hard water deposits/mildew/mold away in seconds. Push another little fancy button on said fancy keypad, and loveliness in the form of Pine Sol smell fills the room.

Now THAT would make this drowned rat vewy vewy gwateful and the showers in the house would get cleaned a lot more often…


One thought on “It’s a conundrum.

  1. I LOATH cleaning the shower. The thought crossed my mind the other day, ” who will clean my shower when the kids are gone”?!

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