Confessions of a snark.



It happened during a 9 am intake call for a new position we are working on here in the office. As part of the team, I “get” to listen in on the calls and take notes, but an added benefit is listening from my desk with the mute button pushed, so that I can continue to work at the computer until important details require me to pay closer attention.

What I heard on the other end of the phone this morning was alarming. That might be a little harsh? It was unnerving? It was almost in the category of “fingernails on a chalkboard?”

Uptalk, also known as HRT, “high-rising terminal,” or upspeak.


Oh. my. goodness.

Every sentence. Seriously every sentence. It took less than 30 seconds for me to begin googling the name of this disorder. I wanted to jump through the phone, physically get inside her throat and pull down the end of every one of her sentence questions.

Here is an example that I really hope will be stuck in your mind for a couple of hours after you read this, because if I had to suffer, everyone should suffer, don’t  you think?

I think we should get together next Monday to discuss the issue going forward? Because we all have plans over the weekend since it is Memorial Day and the weather is so beautiful? But if you’d like to spend your weekend doing something besides work, I certainly understand? By the way, I love your new picture of you and your kitty cat? 


Here is another example, and I apologize for the slight inappropriateness, but it NAILS what I listened to for an hour and a half:


After the call was over, I begged my boss to please please please TELL ME IF I EVER TALK THAT WAY and cause her to want to perform a tonsillectomy on me.

I am grateful that God loves people with HRT disease.

I am grateful that God loves a snarky person. I am confessing and repenting here and now. I will try much harder tomorrow to ignore the sentence questions even though that is like ignoring pieces of toilet paper on the bathroom floor.

I am grateful that God has blessed me with the opportunity to love and show kindness and grace to Ms. Uptalk.

And finally, I am grateful for the lesson I just can’t seem to learn, first taught by Thumper, and passed on to me by Mom:

If you cain’t say nothin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.



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